exhausted like a pre-teen...

i put water on for tea...i started the shower...i moved my face soap, my brown glycerine bar of face soap that melts if left in water and fascinates me endlessly, from the tub's rim to the shelf with the tiny fake sea creatures...it's less likely to melt here...i took my shirt off...untied my shoes...yes, in this order...always in this order..and began to spend my usual time standing on the toilet seat examining my body in the mirror..[always leave the pants on]...i do this before and after the shower...and it never really looks like me...or...the way i look at myself, it gets lost somehow in translation...two things are happening...a person is looking at a person, two strangers randomly eyeing one another...and i am looking at them, looking at me...in reality, its me comically perched on top of a toilet, or sometimes (in extreme cases of self examination--or depending on the layout of the bathroom) the counter top straddling the sink..reel to reel...life as a movie...always a spectator...oh, if these walls could talk...the problem with today is...i received a text message in the middle of my critique..beep beep....i had to shut off the shower...i forgot about the tea water...and now i will have to start all over again....one damning text message and my routine is thrown off...i've lost 24 minutes of my day because i refuse to ignore the phone, i have to wait and see if there's a response, and i can't continue with my pre-shower antics out of order like that....

succinctly, ocd is a terrible killer of time...