memory #47,926--early march 2004..

she calls me and i was already thinking about her so conversation is a stride i step easily into...i'm anticipating her calling me 'hun' at the end of our talk...i'm on a roll, spitting out my best off hand material, her laughter bounces off sattelites, rolls through the tiny holes in my phone's speaker and washes over me...warm...its an eye blue sky...the sun is beating down on my virgin german skin and already i'm turning pink after three minutes of exposure..meet for coffee? perfect...sit side by side? wonderful...good conversation and maniacal crosswording? i think i'll marry you. ...be there in eleven minutes, i say...she's smiling...i know it...'ok.'...and today she calls me 'sweetie'...my stomache does a triple back flip launching itself into my intestines where it swings hammock.style...i'm there first, at the coffee shop...i talk quickly to my friend Ricky behind the counter...i move around too much in social situations...it makes them uncomfortable...god, i'm awkward...within two minutes she's standing behind me...when i first met her (all of a week and a half ago) i thought a lot about how tall she was...its the third time we've hung out...i'm positive she's shrinking..something seems off about her as she orders her chai...is she uncomfortable? what is this? her, nervous? i grab a crossword from the pile of miscelaneous daily paper sections...i swat at her playfully while she finishes up with Ricky and the chai...i wonder if she thinks i'm being confident...the bench outside is crowded so we have to huddle at the end...emphasis on 'Have To'...we each light a cigarette...of course, the rest of the events, as they were spent in such close proximity to her skin, were a blur, and too short, and can only be summed up in feeble keywords...